Dear Most Recent Crush,
Every time I hear a motorcycle go by I wonder if you bought a new one and its you.
Who needs a boyfriend when you have a blog to share all your thoughts and dreams with.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Desired but not Wanted
I've concluded that I am only desired by men but not actually wanted by them. When I say men, I mean men that I am attracted to. The men who like me are insecure or the type of guys who if you kissed them on the lips they would fall in love with you.
They (men I like) feign interest but then realize that although I'm intelligent and sensual are scared off by my quirkiness and eccentricity.
I'm tired of this, I seriously just want to fall for the boys who pant after me like puppies but then I think "whats the fun in that I like a challenge and they are not a challenge" "plus they are probably really bad kissers."
Just a little peak into the shallowness of my brain, yes I am shallow. I use to write really deep things but school has ruined any deep thoughts that I have with incessant writing of stylized papers that read what the prof wants to hear. I'm drained of creativity in my writing. To start with I'm not much of a writer and then to have to punish myself with school I feel as though I'd rather click, click, click my time away on the computer.
Dear who ever you are (someone like me) I miss you and I don't even know you. That is all that has been running through my head for the past six months. It seems that all the 'right' decisions I've made thinking they would lead me closer to you because I was following 'God's will' all my life have not lead me to you. Instead I am almost thirty and still not with you. Yes, I'm the girl who has dreamed all of my life of being married. My parents impressed the importance of marraige on me ever since I was a child. The family unit is very important to them, one of man and wife... and then eventually children. Thank you Focus on the Family for adding to the immense amount of pressure from my parents that they put on me. I don't want to love you, I don't want to want you because I don't think I'll ever find you. I think I am destined to be single all of my life. Some girl with a dream life better than the one in front of her.
Well I guess I still can write something resembling so sort of depth.
They (men I like) feign interest but then realize that although I'm intelligent and sensual are scared off by my quirkiness and eccentricity.
I'm tired of this, I seriously just want to fall for the boys who pant after me like puppies but then I think "whats the fun in that I like a challenge and they are not a challenge" "plus they are probably really bad kissers."
Just a little peak into the shallowness of my brain, yes I am shallow. I use to write really deep things but school has ruined any deep thoughts that I have with incessant writing of stylized papers that read what the prof wants to hear. I'm drained of creativity in my writing. To start with I'm not much of a writer and then to have to punish myself with school I feel as though I'd rather click, click, click my time away on the computer.
Dear who ever you are (someone like me) I miss you and I don't even know you. That is all that has been running through my head for the past six months. It seems that all the 'right' decisions I've made thinking they would lead me closer to you because I was following 'God's will' all my life have not lead me to you. Instead I am almost thirty and still not with you. Yes, I'm the girl who has dreamed all of my life of being married. My parents impressed the importance of marraige on me ever since I was a child. The family unit is very important to them, one of man and wife... and then eventually children. Thank you Focus on the Family for adding to the immense amount of pressure from my parents that they put on me. I don't want to love you, I don't want to want you because I don't think I'll ever find you. I think I am destined to be single all of my life. Some girl with a dream life better than the one in front of her.
Well I guess I still can write something resembling so sort of depth.